Daughter of an Emotionally Absent Mother:

Adopting a Daily Mantra

As the daughter of an emotionally absent mother, I suffered from depression since my early teens. I only had enough energy to do what needed to get accomplished with none left over to experience any joy. My life was like a chore as I trudged through the day. When my therapist suggested I adopt a daily mantra to elevate my spirit and remind me of my goals, I decided to give it a try. I had no idea what a positive impact it would have on my life and on my soul.

Now I think of a slogan each morning, write it down, and repeat it throughout the day. Sometimes I chant it or write it over and over on a piece of paper. It's a simple habit I easily incorporated in my routine, but it's made a world of difference.

I highly recommend this to everyone, but especially daughters of emotionally absent mothers. It's so easy for sadness to engulf our thoughts and prevent us for living life to the fullest. By choosing a mantra, you seize control over your painful past and exist in the now. While there are hundreds of them available on the internet, I think it's more powerful to write your own mantra, personalizing it to fit your current needs.

I found it helpful to keep it wholly positive. When I used the mantra “Don't let the past hold you back,” it actually made me obsess about my wrenching history. So instead I changed it to “Live for today,” something completely affirming. I keep my mantras as short and sweet as possible so I'll remember them. Here are some I used over the past few months:

• Be kind to yourself every day.
• You're strong and powerful.
• The best way to get something done is to begin.
• Struggle is good.
• It's not the destination; it's the journey.
• You'll never have this day again so live it to its fullest